Funny Retirement Gifts for the Young at Heart

If you’ve already picked out a serious, more thought-out gift for a friend who’s retiring, but want to do something a little extra to make them chuckle, then this is the post for you to read. Retirement is a big thing to celebrate, and you’ll be the friend who gives a gift to remember if you pick them out something they’ll laugh at for years.

These days, there are so many great gift ideas. This comprehensive list will include gifts worth a chuckle and gifts worth laughing so hard you’ll cry. If you’re anything like us, you’ve got a few funny bones, and we’re sure your friends do, too.

We’re about to share our favorite 25 funny retirement gift ideas for the friends and loved ones in your life who love a good laugh and appreciate a gag gift basket. Use this gift list as a way to be the life of the party and to have all of your pals laughing. Keep reading to get some gifting inspiration for the next retirement party you’re attending.

• Senior Citizen Award: Start out with a good chuckle with this piece of paper. Your friends will appreciate the humor of getting an award for their most recent accomplishment—retirement. After all, everyone loves receiving awards, right? A Senior Citizen Award may even be something your friend frames and laughs at for weeks to come.

An award certificate gift is a symbol of welcoming for the newest member of the coolest club. It’s an official sign that they’ve reached the goal they’ve been striving for, and now they can proudly hang their award in their home. You can create your own DIY award or buy one online.

• Memory Mints: This funny retirement gag gift is a fresh option. Memory mints are like regular mints, but they help retain memory and focus…obviously. This gift is both practical and funny, and also reusable (bonus!). Whoever gets this gift will get a great laugh, fresh breath, and a tin they can reuse for their regular mints. You can’t go wrong with this one.

• Retirement Tiara: A tiara is a great gift if you’re giving it to the person on or before their party/retirement. Everyone loves to have a special look-at-me moment, especially when the reason to celebrate is so grand. Give them the fanciest, blingiest, most elaborate tiara that screams, “just retired.” It also makes an especially funny retirement gift for men, especially those who aren’t particularly insecure.

You’ll get bonus points if you give this to your friend before their party, so they can wear it every chance they get. Your newly retiring friend will be able to wear their flashy tiara to their work party, their last day of work, and whenever they want to remind themselves of the fancy retiree they are.

• Retirement Text Lingo Mug or Beer Glass: By now, we all know that texting lingo keeps changing and changing. A text lingo retirement mug or stainless steeltumbler is a hilarious way to remind your friend that they might not be up with the times. Give them something they can actually use in their daily life as they caffeinate, and hey, they can actually learn something as they sip!

• Retiring at the Beach Care Package: Many retirees head somewhere warm. Prepare them for plenty of sunny days by giving them beach gifts and pool gifts such as beach tunic cover ups and a fun shirred one-piece bathing suit. Gifts for swimmers can include swim caps and goggles.

• Over The Hill Decision Maker: This gift is a spinner with all the possibilities of things to do ready to go. Making plans and deciding on which hobbies to try out and get done first can be a challenge, but not anymore. This little spinner can be popped on the fridge or coffee table for easy access. Who knows, your friends may even use this spinner for real as they go about their day-to-day scheduling.

• Day Clock: It’s not just a regular clock, it’s a clock to remind them of the days of the week. This gag gift will get a lot of laughs, from the partygoers, but also from the people who see the clock in the gift receiver’s home. After all, this is a gift that deserves to be looked at for a long time. As humorous as this gift is, retirement can actually make you forget what day of the week it is!

• Retired Business Cards: These hilarious little business cards pack a funnier punch than your average business cards. Obviously, these retirement cards hold no serious informational value, but the look on people’s faces when they’re handed this sassy card is priceless. The cards that read, “Retired: Ask Someone Else,” “Not My Problem Anymore,” or “Under New Management” are a funny and unique gift.

• Work Will Suck Without You Purse: Let’s face it, you can’t have too many little purses and totes, so this is a practical and funny gift for your retiring friend. The high-quality purse, in cutesy writing, reads “Work will suck without you” and it couldn’t be any more relatable. This is a great gift for a close friend of yours who is leaving you at the workplace.

• Retired Person Sign: Give a gift that will make even strangers laugh. This sign says, “Warning: Retired person on-premise. Knows everything and has plenty of time to tell it.” How fun can you get? Have them hang this clever sign on their shed for their neighbors to get a good laugh at.

• Retirement Survival Kit: This gift is a more typical gag gift. Complete with a Hawaiian shirt coozie, funny bottle opener, and other witty elements, your lucky friend will truly have everything they’ll ever need for retirement. They’ll be able to use these things for years to come!

• Emergency Underpants: We all understand that getting older comes with…challenges. Some of those challenges can be difficult when you’re caught in a situation with no emergency underpants. Well, that’s a problem no longer. These emergency underpants come in hilarious packaging and are ready to be opened whenever your friend finds themselves in a pinch, especially after laughing so hard.

• Hearing Enhancer: Even better than a hearing aid, the hearing enhancer needs no batteries and will be a comedic hit with your coworkers. Get this for your coworkers who are a little hard of hearing, or who always seem to miss the details of what they’re told. This gag gift will have them rolling.

• Potty Night Light: Non-work-related, this gift is a hilarious one. The potty night light is just what it sounds like, and the fact that it’s actually usable makes the humor that much greater. They’ll be able to stick the night light on their potty to avoid any nighttime accidents. 

• I’m Retired and You’re Not Apron: Give this gift to the person you know who loves to cook and has a sense of humor. Not only is it a great and useful gift, but it also has a comical phrase for everyone to see. Your friends will love this quirky gift that they’ll be able to actually show their other friends and family while they’re grilling or in the kitchen.

• Lotto Scratch-Offs: This is a laugh-out-loud gag gift idea because they’re actually fake scratch-offs. For your friends who love to chase their luck, get them these fake lotto scratch-offs, and add a few real ones into the mix. They’ll be a little confused we’re sure, but then they’ll call you for a good laugh.

• Coffee Break Mug: Come on, how many of us don’t need another mug for their morning coffee? This coffee mug is a little bit funny and a bit more useful, as it reads “Cheers to the world’s longest coffee break.” You really can’t go wrong with this gift for a friend, family member, or coworker. It’s on the lesser end when it comes to gag gifting, but we’re sure it’s perfect for that new retiree who has a smaller funny bone.

• Chalkboard Wine Tray: This is another great practical gift! We all know some winos who always have a wine glass in their hands, and this chalkboard wine tray is golden for those who love to sip different kinds of wine. They’ll be able to sit a few types of wine on the tray and label them for optimal tasting. Again, this gift is less funny and more genuine, but is still lighthearted and functional, which we love.

• Mini Zen Garden: We are absolutely obsessed with this gift choice. As we all know, retiring is supposed to mean more free time. But what shall you spend all that free time doing? Taking care of a zen garden, of course. Retirement should be relaxing, after all, and a mini zen garden is an awesome way to keep calm and stress-free.

• No Salespeople Sign: Your retired friends will be spending way more time at home with their kids and grandkids than they used to, so they’ll be seeing more of those salespeople they never had to encounter while at work. At least, they will be seeing more of them until you get them this funny retirement sign for their front door! The sign reads “Step off my step! No salespeople please.” So really, it’s a nice but firm way to say, “I’m retired now, leave me alone.”

• Novelty Retirement Cane: As we get older, we may need a little more help with simple things, like walking. Not to worry, when you give your friend or retiring coworker a novelty cane that has all the works, they’ll be reminded that they’re becoming an old man or woman while having a laugh. It’s all in good fun, and this cane is an amusing way to point out their age.

• Official Retirement Papers Toilet Paper: Let’s be honest, when you think of a classic gag gift, this is it. All the funniest gifts include toilet paper, and we think this roll is priceless. These are the only retirement papers they’ll need, and they’ll use them every day.

• Over The Hill Pills: As if they needed to be reminded again that they’re headed towards a retirement home, these pill bottles can be filled by you with love. Put in their favorite candy and let them know that you’ll be there for them as they get older and continue to enjoy retired life.

• New Swimsuits: Ok, this isn’t exactly a funny gift, but it’s definitely useful.We hope your retired friend will be doing a lot of traveling and relaxing. In preparation, buy them some new swimsuits to wear for their vacations! You can’t go wrong with a one-piece or a bandeau tankini as a retirement gift, birthday gift, or Christmas gift. Maxine has all of your swimsuit needs covered.

• 101 Fun Things To Do in Retirement Book: If your friends are struggling with what they’re going to spend all their newfound time doing, this little book is the perfect gift to help them check some items off their bucket list. With a light touch of humor, the book will give them 101 different things to do with their spare time. This is an entertaining gift for your newly retired friends that they can keep on their coffee table to amuse others as well.

Wish Them a Happy Retirement With the Best Retirement Gifts Ever

Hopefully, by now you’ve got some funny retirement gift ideas to give to your lucky quitter who is about to take their retirement journey. We’re certain that these gifts are going to make them laugh so hard it will be hard to stop.

With retirement comes some big decisions and a little bit of stress, so why not ease them into the whole situation with a little comic relief? Give your friends and coworkers a chuckle at the next retirement party, and be the best gift-giver there ever was.

Save this list of funny retirement gifts for the future, and you’ll never run out of lively presents to award the next retirees you know!

Sources:

50 Funny Retirement Gifts for a Good Chuckle | Dodo Burd

25 Funny Retirement Gifts for Every Type of Retiree in 2021 | Gift Lab

7 Reasons To Wear A High Waisted Bikini This Spring And Show Off Your Inner Retro Queen | Bustle